Rays of Sunshine
Summer is winding down and I am more thankful than ever for a few weeks of time to breathe and enjoy these girls. I feel like the weeks are flying by so fast that I can’t even think straight.
At the end of each day I look at my sweet girls, sleeping like angels, and have so many surges of emotions. I’m not doing enough. I’m not documenting enough. I’m not patient enough. Are they spoiled? I should let them be kids more often. We should practice handwriting more. Am I teaching them enough about God? Are these precious little babies that have been given to me going to turn into wonderful people as adults? I hope and pray I’m doing right by them. Parenthood is the most exhausting and without a doubt the most rewarding aspect of my life. I don’t know if we’re making the right parenting decisions. I hope so. The older they get the more new challenges they bring on that sometimes leave me speechless.
I’ve missed so many milestones, especially lately and with Charlotte, that I just can’t even keep track anymore. How do some people keep up? She’s 1 month away from her 3rd birthday and I just can’t get enough of her. I pull her from her bed at night just to hold her close and smell her hair and baby soft skin. She’s my baby. And soon to be my middle child. Gah, just the word “middle child” scares me. I hope she never feels like she was pushed aside. Like she’s not enough. Like she wasn’t baby because oh my goodness is she 100% mommy’s girl. She always has been. And I hope she wants to always be close to me. I hope she always wants to sleep with my blanket just to smell my smell. I hope she needs nighttime snuggles forever. I hope she always gives me that look of unconditional love. I hope she always knows how much I absolutely wholeheartedly adore her, every quirky and hilarious little part of her. I hope that us having a baby in a few months doesn’t break her heart. If it does, mine will break too.
Cam is over four and a half now. In just a few months she’ll be 5. FIVE?? I am amazed at the little mother hen she’s becoming. I’m amazed at her ability to understand what’s really going on. Her curiosity about things in life like why crocodiles are like dinosaurs, and how do jellyfish breathe underwater, and if our bird is a boy where is his boy part? She is so imaginative. Pretends to be a dragon each and every day. Loves to play with anything she can get her hands on and loves to please us more now than ever. She’s mellow, she’s peaceful, she’s kind. She loves to help her sister. But she needs her space too. She will try her veggies not because she gets dessert but because I made them and she wants me to be happy. She makes me a card out of nowhere just to say “thank you” for taking them to the candy store. How does a child of her age and size have so much empathy? How does she know to say the things she says? How did I get so fortunate to get blessed with someone like this for a daughter.
I can’t imagine feeling more blessed or proud of my girls. I never would have dreamed that I would one day have 3 girls. I was such a tomboy growing up and always assumed I would have a boy one day. I don’t know girly things. I missed the sleepover that taught makeup and hair. I haven’t a clue about fashion. I am too frugal to love shopping. I struggle in the kitchen and do a terrible job painting nails. But somehow, I now can’t even imagine how I was so fortunate to get girls..and ALL girls at that. I know we’ve got it coming when we’ve got 3 teenage girls in the house and then 3 college tuitions and 3 weddings. Ugh don’t even get me started thinking about the BOYS that will come over… But that’s all okay. These girls make me so proud. They are so sweet. So kind. So precious. I am witnessing a sister bond now that literally takes my breath away. They are so amazing.